grateful.

There are so many things in my life I am grateful for. For the past week or so I have been in a reflective state and going deep within my heart and soul. Having two deaths and funerals this week i am sure is what triggered the reflection. I want to begin living each day as if it were my last. I don't want to take tomorrow for granted. My life in the NOW is full of such love and happiness. However I let my fears of the future interfere with my current joy. My goal is to not look ahead, only live each day to its fullest. I don't want to have any regrets.

I am grateful for having a husband who is extremely supportive. He is willing to wear so many different hats. His days begin at 7am (if he is lucky the girls behave) and don't end until 1am. He makes the most out of his hour in the morning with the girls while getting ready for work and and an hour and a half in the evening. He is extremely hands on and there is nothing he wouldn't do for his girls (all 4 of us). On the weekends, we try and make up for the long days during the week by doing fun-filled packed things that create our strong family bond and develop memories. What I have realized and known from my own childhood that it isn't the quantity of time spent that makes you a better parent, it is the quality.

I do alot of reflecting with my mom and we have some wonderful heart-to-heart conversation. Often we talk about when I was younger and how my dad was working his butt off starting his business. But to be honest, I do not remember that much at all. The reason is because no matter how stressed my dad was or no matter how many hours of sleep he had the night before (going to bed at 2-3 and waking up at 6 or so), he NEVER showed it. He always gave the three of us 100% of his attention. He coached every sport we played. He was always asking us to go outside to play. He would always start the weekends with the house blaring with music and us all dancing around. And now that I am in a similar situation, I have so much respect for both of my parents. The fact that my mom supported my dad and was able to be at home with the three of us. Now that I am here, the one at home with two kids, I know how HARD it can be at times. My mom always made it look so easy. But then again that was my perspective as a kid, I now know how many sacrifices she made for us. I am so grateful for that.

I wake up each day and look at my girls..... Even though i may feel overwhelmed at times. It is not due to the moment or because of the girls misbehaving..... it is due to the love that is pouring out of my heart. It truly takes my breathe away. I can't wrap my brain around the fact that I made those girls. they grew in my body. I look into their eyes and I see my soul. I see everything I ever wanted, more than I ever could have dreamt of. I well up inside just when I think about my love for the girls.

I know all little girls have these imaginative fairy tale dreams that they hope to one day fulfill. I am not saying I don't have my typical mommy moments, but overall I couldn't have asked for a better life. this is my fairytale.

Happily ever after.